It has been a hot minute and I just single-handedly erased all of my failed attempts at weight loss and getting my life together from this blog. All of the "I'm back and it's real this time" were a stark reminder of how I could never really get it done. Just sitting there staring me in the face, laughing at me. Ugh!
So, today, I start this blog anew.
I recently went to my doc (a new one) and explained to her how I have been feeling awful at a non stop rate. I have been exhausted, feeling nauseous, and dealing with a daily headache. Of course I thought that all of these things were solely related to my extra weight and T2. My doc sent me for blood work and I honestly thought that the results would come back with the same old same old.
Then this past Thursday, I was sitting at work and became extremely dizzy...for hours. I couldn't shake the spinning I had going on in my own head. I pleaded and promised, as I have done many times before, that if the end result wasn't the emergency room then I would definitely get my health together. I don't know who I was pleading with, this time I might have been pleading with myself.
I ended up leaving work early and calling my doc to see if my blood test results were in. Of course they had been received (why can't they ever call you with results?) and that the results were waiting to be read by my doc. I waited a few more hours and then finally got and email (sometimes technology is a little too much, don't cha think?) asking me to schedule an appointment soon. You can bet your ass that I called the minute I saw that email. Especially after my dizzy episode!
As I'm sitting in the doctors office on Friday afternoon waiting for my doc to break the news that my blood sugars have spiked yet again, I did not consider that there could be additional issues with my health. I readied myself for the lecture that I need to lose weight and to stop eating sugar. I was ready to argue that I could not take Metformin (the medicine everyone wants to shove down my throat) and that without assistance to lower the sugar levels I would have an extremely difficult time losing weight.
My doctor walked in and I eyed her sideways. She asked me how I had been feeling since she saw me last and I told her that I felt like crap with a side of dizzy. She nodded her head and said, "I have some answers for you and I'm going to explain what is going on."
FINALLY!!!
I felt an instant relief. I felt like this doc was going to talk to me, not at me. I felt like we might be partners in the decision making for my health and she hadn't even said anything with substance yet.
She asked me some questions and then came and sat next to me (what? you aren't going to talk at me from across the room). As she pulled out my lab results she told me that there was a lot to go over and that she would explain the plan to get me feeling better when we got to the end. Hallelujah, I couldn't wait to talk about feeling better!
As she moved through the report, she did go over the usual suspects. My cholesterol looked decent. My thyroid was ok. The white, the red, the other little blood cells were in good shape. Of course my blood sugar had spiked an additional 0.5%. I had not doubt the report would show that. All of these things were things I knew and was ready for.
Then she talked about autoimmune disease.
The only thing I could really say to that was, "no one has ever tested me". My doctor looked at me and told me that she tested me for this because every symptom I described pointed to a positive for autoimmune disease and now here it was highlighted on my lab results. She explained that autoimmune diseases make your body attack itself from within.
As she left the room to ask her medical assistant to set me up on an EKG (just to be sure that my heart was ok, it is!) I furiously started Googling "autoimmune diseases". Some of what I found really gave me pause. Lupus, MS, rheumatoid arthritis??? I don't know what type of autoimmune disease I could be dealing with at this point, but I'm somewhat relieved that I finally have something to hold onto. I had reserved myself to feeling crappy for the rest of my days and this test result gives me some hope that once we pinpoint an actual disease, we will be able to treat it. I'm not delusional though, I know I'll never be 100% but I do know that there are steps that I can take to get on a better path to health. I know that I'm 100% responsible for how I'm going to get through this.
I stopped off at the lab yesterday and had more blood work and my breath test done (yes, there's something else going on with my tummy too). I wanted to get that going right away and I'm waiting anxiously to find out what the test reveals.
My doc broke it down like this for me...
There will be two plans that she will need to put me on. One to manage my diabetes and get me to weight loss. The other to manage my autoimmune disease (whatever it might be).
Plan 1 (manage my T2 diabetes)
- Start Januvia meds
- Measure my blood sugars four times a day to find trends
- Eliminate most of the sugar I have been eating
- Cut back drastically on carbs (oh mama, that's going to be sooooo hard for me!)
- Lose weight (thing above should help with that)
Plan 2 (manage my autoimmune disease)
I'm also having to see a GI doc for an ongoing tummy issue. I guess they will start a plan 3 for me? Man, I'm seriously broken!
All of this brings me to why I'm on this blog again. Blogging is actually very therapeutic for me. I like to write my thoughts out and read over them. I like making goal lists and posting cool ideas that I find. With the recent health issues coming to light it's brought me back to earth. I had ignored my health and made half ass attempts at weight loss. I didn't really care. I didn't really consider that "shit would get real". I still don't really know if things have completely hit home but that is why I'm here. Spewing out my thoughts and putting it all out in an organized way will hopefully help me stay focused. That's the plan...STAY FOCUSED.
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